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Preparing Your First Child for the New Babies Arrival

Michelle — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 03:09:59 +0000

Include Your Child From the Beginning

Include your child in the new baby’s arrival from the very beginning. Tell him or her that they are about to become a big brother or sister. Be sure to express to your child how important his role in the family will be and the benefits that this will have. Assure your child that you will love him just as much as always and that the new baby will be someone else who will love him too. Teach him that he will be loved more than before. Allow him to help with making decisions regarding the baby. Even a two year old will appreciate being included and helping in the decision making process. For example take him shopping with you to buy punk rock baby gifts, let him choose between two choices which he thinks the new baby will like the best.

Let him help decorate the nursery

Even if that help is confined to putting small objects on a low shelf let him help. Perhaps you can allow him to pick out a special toy for the baby that is from his big brother or sister. Another option may be giving your older child a new toy and explain that the new gift is from the baby. As your pregnancy progresses allow him to feel the baby move, answer his questions and read him books so he understands that the reason mother’s body is changing is because of the baby.

Make Your Child Feel Special and Needed

Any young child is bound to feel a bit jealous when they see all the new things that the baby is getting like punk baby clothes from showers. Having a completely separate big brother or sister celebrations where you suggest that your friends bring a small gift for your older child can combat this feeling. Offering a gift or two just because he has a new role in the family will go a long way in helping make your first born fit into his new role.

Show You Child the Hospital Nursery

If at all possible arrange with the hospital staff to take your child on a tour of the delivery room and nursery. Expressing that this will be where your new brother or sister will stay until arriving home. Tell him or her that you need them to keep dad company until your return, so they will feel like they are helping at this very special time. If you want your child to really look forward to the new baby coming home then give your child a little talk that everything is going to be just fine. Continuing to include them once the baby is born will make for an easier adjustment for both you and your first born.

Hosting Baby Shower Party & Preparing Baby Shower Guests Lists

Michelle — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 03:28:56 +0000

Hosting Baby Showers – Who Can Host and Preparing the Baby Shower Guest List A baby shower is a baby party for close friends and family of the Mom-to-Be. Traditionally non-relatives were the ones to hosted the baby shower, such as a church group, co-worker or close friend. However, it has become more acceptable and commonplace for sisters, relatives or close friends to host a baby shower. It truly does not matter who hosts the baby shower, as long as someone takes the initiative. Read More About Hosting Baby Showers – Who Can Host and Preparing the Baby Shower Guest List. This is such a special time in a woman’s life – what a way to help her celebrate by showering the expectant mother and her baby with love and support. The only person who should not host a baby shower is the Mom-to-Be. It is also not uncommon for more than one person to co-host a baby shower. It makes the baby shower party planning a lot more fun and helps spread the costs. When planning a baby shower, one of the first things to consider is the guest list. Unless the shower is a surprise, find out from the Mom-to-Be the kind of shower she would like to have and who to invite. It would be awkward to leave someone out who should have been invited. If the shower is a sprinkle baby shower, then the guest list might be smaller and might include those closest to the Mom-to-Be. And, of course, if it is a co-ed or couples baby shower, then men will be invited. There are different ways of inviting the guests, particularly with technology as advanced as it is, such as through online baby shower invitations. It is suggested that you mail the custom baby shower invitations cards directly to the guests’ homes. Printed baby shower cards set the tone for the party, plus the invitations are a visual reminder for the guests. There are many different types of invitations to choose from, such as printed baby shower announcements from various online shops. Of course, if there is a certain theme you have in mind, be sure that the shower invitations reflect the party theme. Regardless of the type of baby shower invitations used, they should contain the pertinent information on it such as the day, time and place of the shower party, type baby shower and other information. It is also helpful to add where the expectant mother is registered and any other information that may be helpful in setting the tone for the baby shower. If the expectant parents would really enjoy having a couples baby shower or co-ed baby shower, then that is what should be planned. Having the men join in the baby shower will definitely add a different dynamic, but if the father wants to be a part of the whole experience, then it is only right to have him be a part of shower celebration events as well. Inviting couples will help the father to feel more relaxed, giving the baby party a less formal atmosphere where everyone will enjoy themselves. The baby shower hostess should ensure that the baby shower invitations cards are sent well in advance of the shower party. Unless you are hosting a welcome home baby shower, the baby shower is usually held a month or two prior to the due date. This will give the Mom-to-Be enough time to arrange for the coming arrival of her baby, as well as if she happens to have the baby early, then the shower would have already occurred. There are lots of websites that have unique baby shower invitations wording ideas, verses and sayings to ensure your baby shower cards tell everyone all the important details of the shower.

Preparing Your Dog For Your Baby – Avoid Jealousy And Anxiety During And After Your Pregnancy

Michelle — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:21:14 +0000

Why

Over the years I’ve worked with countless dog-owning young couples with feelings so strong for their dogs that they could not imagine those feelings could be any stronger for a child. However, when they became pregnant they found released from within an even greater capacity for love. An accompanying byproduct of this heightened state is a fierce, innate, hard wired need to provide the safest of environments for their child. From that moment and for many years to come they know that all decisions will revolve around the impact they will have on their child. That first pregnancy launches a furied time of preparation part of which is includes an evaluation of their current environment from its baby-friendly perspective. What was once just a means to access the basement they realize is now a path of potential danger that must be addressed. What was once just a cupboard to store cleaning supplies is now a reservoir of peril. What was once ‘their dog’ is about to become the ‘family dog’ and regardless of their devotion consideration is given to potential for conflict however minor.

Based on past experience some dog owners will be aware of the possibility of jealousy or anxiety however many will not be aware of the potential for either that the addition of a baby can uniquely elicit. Others have little worry about conflict based on malice or fear but much to worry about regarding unruliness. Behavior that could once be worked around; they realize will by necessity need to be addressed. Outside of injury due to unruliness, statistics confirm that an objective eye is warranted and that each dog should be assessed for its baby-friendly status. According to many high profile sources one out of two children is bitten by a dog before reaching the age of twelve and dog bites are greater health problem for children in the US, than measles, mumps, and whooping cough combined. For most dog owners though the risk their dog brings is due more to sheer unruliness than meanness of spirit. However either way intervention before the dramatic change in lifestyle that accompanies the birth of a child is becoming more common amongst dog owning expectant couples.

Myths

My initial interest in infant safety around dogs stems from the prenatal class I took in preparation for the birth of my first son. The nurse teaching the class was asked what precautions should be taken when the expectant parent was also a dog owner. The recommendation offered by the nurse that expectant moms and dads could help prevent future jealousy or anxiety by introducing a baby doll into the house hold, and simulate day to day interaction with an infant. This would entail cuddling, carrying, bathing, dressing, etc. I have read this as well on countless websites and in articles like this one and books. To a layperson this might make sense. However, children’s toys, including baby dolls, are made from the same material as is found in many dog toys. After over 20 years working with thousands of dog I can say with confidence that the keen senses of a dog are not going to be fooled into connecting a baby doll with a true baby and thereby acclimatizing it. However some have been known to make a grab for the baby doll as if it were another plastic toy gift from their owners creating unnecessary worry for the parents to be.

Another well-meaning myth is that bringing home an infant’s hospital blanket will introduce the dog to its scent and somehow make it easier for the dog to accept the baby when it arrives. Where this advice originally came from remains a mystery but it certainly did not come from a professional. Any behaviorist, psychiatrist or psychologist knows that if desensitization is to have a desired outcome it is a slow incremental process. The idea that a sniff of a blanket might temper the sensory impact that an infant will have is the equivalent of expecting that a glance of the ultrasound image will realistically prepare an expectant mother for her labor experience let alone the impact of all that will follow once she brings her child home. Fortunately, there are much better options to turn to that will help a dog make the transition from being an ‘only child.’

Reality – Some Dogs You Can Change But Some You Cannot

Cohabitation between humans and dogs has existed for thousands of years. However, for better and worse, over the last century the nature of the relationship has changed significantly. Dogs are no longer just a means to an end for securing food, herding and protecting livestock, and protecting home and hearth. For many of us, they have become family members. The upside is that a dog is one of the few things that you can pour a little love into once in a while and harvest back an endless stream of unconditional love. The down side is that as well-meaning as we might be, many of the signals we now send our dogs confuse them as to who should be the teacher and who should be the student and without this stability they often unnecessarily develop behaviors that range from the annoyance of unruly behavior to becoming actual safety liabilities.

Expectant dog owning parents should keep in mind that over the last few decades many of the breeding protocols that lead to a physically and mentally balanced dog have become the exception rather than the rule. Also, training methodologies have changed such that many dog trainers now erroneously believe and so advise their clients that even the slightest discipline will make a dog’s behavior worse and so they recommend all-positive, all the time training. This in spite of the irrefutable evidence provided by every parenting dog, wolf, ape or human that the skills to survive and thrive in the real world come through both positive and negative. The end result of these poor breeding and training practices is that many expectant parents find themselves with a dog with characteristics that can impact the equilibrium of the household from a child’s safety.

Some of these situations can be resolved by switching to a more realistic training model while others where the dog’s temperament has been more seriously impacted by breeding and training conventions can create anxiety and concern in the expectant parent. Early Intervention Whether for the Unruly or the Uncomfortable Dog Armed with fact rather then myth expectant parents can assess where and why their dog might need their assistance and how either through their own efforts or along with a professional’s develop a strategy that balances their dog’s needs with their baby’s safety.

I have found in the countless assessments I have done for expectant parents that every household can benefit by learning more on how their dog sees the world and makes connections that lead to joy and anxiety. Sometimes it is as simple as learning how to teach baby friendly obedience such as ‘Stay on Your Mat’? or a proper heel and recall so that opportunities to properly exercise their dog and thereby relive its stress can be taken advantage of more often once the baby has arrived. In other situations we discovered that due to circumstances beyond the control of its owners, typically the result of breeding or early socialization, the dog had some yellow or red flag characteristics. In some situations these were addressable, in others they were not. Unfortunately other then the traditional mythical advice outlined above there is in prenatal education very little practical advice for dog owning expectant parents.

The contents of the book, How to Prepare Your Dog for Your Baby ? is a culmination many years of experience working with families and dogs and provides strategies to objectively assess and address real life practicalities that come with babies and dogs living together.

Forewarned is forearmed and consideration as to how a dog and a baby might affect each other should become as an important part of prenatal preparation experience as learning the safest of car seats, cribs, strollers and any other factor that might impact an infant’s well being.